The Modern Challenge of Finding a Career:
Many young people, myself included, have a hard time trying to figure out what to do with their lives. I’m usually a proponent of try as much as you can until you find something that sticks, but this is much harder to execute in reality than it may initially seem. Changing from thing to thing to thing can be exhausting in the same way that just sticking with the first thing you find and end up hating going into work every day is exhausting. So what is the answer? If doing something you hate is exhausting, and trying to find something you love is exhausting, what are you supposed to do? That’s the topic I’m going to try and tackle today. Not necessarily an easy topic to discuss, but I think I have some insights that may be somewhat helpful to the directionless or those who want to change direction.
Why “Do What You Love” Sucks:
I’m first going to start with the common wisdom of “do what you love.” I’ve been hearing this for quite some time, and after trying to do just that, I actually think this statement is backwards and that “do what you love” is not great advice. Why? Well if you’ve ever tried to make a living off a hobby that you enjoy doing in the few spare hours off work, you’ll quickly learn that making money, and doing something for fun, for most of us, are two different worlds. When you try to make money off something you are doing for fun, it can often cease to be fun, and I think this is especially true for creative endeavours. If you are a painter, or you make trinkets or cookies in your free time, and you try to mass produce paintings and trinkets, you’ll soon find yourself burnt out from needing to paint every second of the day in order to keep up with the demand for your art (best case scenario). If you aren’t accustomed to the pace of painting all day long, and you don’t have a way of continuing to make it interesting for yourself, you may find yourself no longer interested in that thing. There are those few people in the world who make a living off their music, or their art, or some other creative endeavour, but there are thousands and thousands more who are “starving artists.” So unless you have an unrivaled thirst to out practice and outwork basically every single competitor, or some unrivaled business acumen, you might want to continue doing that thing as a hobby.
Why You Shouldn’t Start a Business Based on “Do What You Love”:
I spoke in my pervious article (Employed Vs. Self-Employed Work) about what people overlook when they are starting a business, and I discuss the huge challenges with being self-employed. If you do choose to “do what you love” as your own business, you need systems in place, you’ll spend a lot more time just managing the business than you want, and you’ll have to become a jack of many trades rather than being able to focus on your craft. This can be managed and software nowadays is a godsend, but I still caution people who want to leave stable work for effectively contract jobs because you really are going to be working 24/7 rather than just 9-5. I see these advertisements for Realtor school quite often on my Google ads (presumably because I spend a lot of my time looking at houses and economic data), and I always laugh at their tagline “escape your 9-5, take control of your own schedule”. Which loosely translates to, “you’ll now be working 9-9 most days, oh also doing open houses on weekends, and if you’re doing this business right, you’ll likely be fielding calls or making calls most hours of the day. You’ll have to try and find new business every day and you’ll spend the majority of your time just looking for clients rather than working for them.” If you want something to be completely engaged in, then by all means, do the self-employed game, maybe you’ll love it, but if you want balance in your life, maybe don’t. You can create some amount of balance once you’ve established yourself, have a client base, and know how to delegate, but at the start you will be working your butt off to make ends meet with lackluster results unless you’re truly exceptional. Usually it takes people 5-10 years before they can slow down a bit and take back some control of their schedule, and some people never manage to. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
How Building Your Skills Leads to Love:
Now, I’m going to somewhat contradict the above paragraph. Because I’m going to talk about the right way to “do what you love”. Since I mentioned this phrase is backwards you’re probably wondering what I think is the right phrase. I think it’s something along the lines of “work hard, learn a skillset, do disciplined practice, become an expert, and finally, love the result.” It’s so much easier to love something you’re good at, that you’ve practiced at, and that you want to keep pushing the boundaries in. This perspective is not new to me, but it has been reinforced by a few books I’ve been reading recently the first is The Algebra of Wealth by Scott Galloway, which I think is a great introductory finance book and money book in general. The second is Grit by Angela Duckworth (a bit late to the party I know). I think that both of these books overarching ideas when it comes to a career is focusing on becoming good at the thing you are doing, and reframing “failure” as something that helps you get better and better.
It’s Supposed to Be Hard:
Often when you are learning something new, it’s going to be hard, it’s going to suck, and you’re going to want to quit. In Grit Duckworth interviews many Olympic swimmers and one of them says (I’m paraphrasing), “honestly, going to practice is hard, and I frequently don’t want to go, and I often find myself thinking about quitting.” She then goes on to say that a top performer attitude is doing the hard thing anyway. They are focused on the top level goal of getting to the Olympics and winning medals. They have a compass that guides all of their lower level motives. She stresses the importance of finding your one overarching life compass that doesn’t change. When it comes to putting in the hard work that is hard to do every day, she stresses the importance of routine. It’s much easier to do the hard thing if you have a routine and do it at the same time every day, so you don’t have to “re-convince” yourself to do the hard thing. Just showing up is half the battle. Lastly, the importance of long term commitment. The good old 10,000 hours (or 10 years) of practice to become an expert is something that can be hard to remember when you’re in the trenches doing the hard work, but nothing replaces disciplined practice. Probably the most important trait or feeling you need to have towards the work you are trying to do is the desire to be constantly getting better. If you have no drive or “grit” to improve on the last thing you did then you’ll quickly lose the motivation you need to keep moving. This is where other people are extremely helpful and getting quick feedback on what you’ve done is extremely important too. You should have a coach or mentor figure who can help you set goals for disciplined practice, and then can give you feedback on what you’ve done so you can improve quicker. You should also spend some time reflecting on your practice and resting, don’t overdo it every single day. Even Olympic athletes have a daily training limit. If you do all these things, and are focused on challenging yourself, building a skillset though putting in multiple repetitions, getting feedback, and have an compass guiding your lower level goals. Then you are on the path eventually loving what you do.
Finding Your “Life Compass”:
Many people after reading this might say, “that’s great Oliver, but I don’t have a compass, and quite frankly I still have no clue what I want to do.” There are a few things you can do to try and some questions you can ask yourself to try and find your compass. Think back to what you enjoyed in high school, as this often tends to be the start of what people’s “career discovery” phase. Think about things that you are generally good at, ask friends and family if you can’t think of anything. If you are still having trouble this is where the exploring phase can work well. But you have to spend time actually trying things, not just reading about them. It can take a while before you develop a true interest in something so don’t give up on something after 1 day of it being challenging or not working out the way you thought. The most important thing, and this is advice I often struggle to follow myself, is to put yourself out there. If you don’t have your compass, you need to be spending time to find the compass. If you have the compass, you need to be spending time to build good habits and a system that will help you “train” in order to become a “professional” at your chosen career path. All of this is hard, all of this will be a huge exercise in failure. But if you work through the challenges, learn from your failures, and defeat the fear of failure (you don’t know till you try) you’ll make great progress towards you overarching goal.
Reframing Failure: Failing is Awesome!
As a side tip from another book, try to reframe failure as being “awesome”, like “hell yeah, that was hard as hell, I just fell flat on my face, I’m ready to get out there and do it again!”. I think the advice of finding what you love as a function of practice, training, and hard work, rather than simply a function of “do what you love” or “do what you’re interested in” is much sounder advice. In simple terms I think people should “do what they are good at, and practice to become an expert.” This advice builds resiliency in children, teaches them to have grit, and to not be afraid of failure (weird how that happens as you get older). I completely understand why many student nowadays are having a hard time unfreezing themselves from paralysis by analysis. They’ve learned to avoid failure at all costs, and especially with the internet and everyone’s lives being online, it can be extremely damaging and unforgiving to fail in public. If you fail a course at school, or do poorly on one test, your chances of not getting into the best university could be lost, so the pressure is high, and the consequences of failure are high as well. Which is the exact opposite approach we should be teaching. It’s good to experiment, it’s good to try new things, it’s good to iterate, and importantly one of the best ways to avoid a future failure when you need to perform, is by failing so many times in private that it’s unreasonable you’ll be unsuccessful (i.e. doing lots of math problems, or making hundreds of cold calls, or lots of songs, or lots of paintings). Fail so much, and become so good, learn from your mistakes, that when you do put your practice to work, even a bad day will still be a good result. We need to be providing more and more opportunities for students to fail in private, and more importantly emphasizing that practice is important in every aspect of life; a career is no exception. I even believe that failing in public can be a great lesson, but I think too much negative feedback when someone is just starting out can be destructive to the motivation to do that thing in the long run, and it can be hard to come back from too much hate about the path you want to pursue. So in the beginning maybe some sheltering from failure is justified. But over time, once they’ve built the failure muscle, and understand that failure is awesome, and decide to just give things a go and focus on constant improvement, the negative feedback becomes easier to deal with as competence grows, and funnily enough, the failures might decrease, at which point I encourage constantly pushing the needle to get better and better. I strongly believe that if we were pushing this kind of advice, rather than “do what you love”, people would be loving what they do a whole lot more, and the generation of directionless young people would have a much easier time finding their direction.
Thanks for reading, I hope that you found this article helpful or interesting. Feel free to email me, I’m always interested in hearing what other people think about these articles. As always,
Keep practicing,
Oliver Foote